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Forum: Jokes 07-10-2014, 04:27 AM
Replies: 0
Views: 30
Posted By curious74432
Surgeries

Two little boys are going to the hospital the next day for operations. Theirs will be first on the schedule.

The older boy leans over and asks,

"What are you having done?"

...
Forum: Jokes 07-01-2014, 05:22 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 65
Posted By curious74432
Punishment

Assign the punishment

Three guys found themselves in Hell: we will call them Carl, Bob, and Brett, they were a little confused at their present situation, and they were startled to see a door in the...
Forum: Jokes 06-26-2014, 05:00 AM
Replies: 0
Views: 48
Posted By curious74432
Broken Into

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.

“You’ll get your chance in court,” said the Desk Sergeant.

“No, no, no!” said the...
Forum: Jokes 06-25-2014, 05:23 AM
Replies: 0
Views: 28
Posted By curious74432
Political Aphorisms

Political Aphorisms


If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates. ~Jay Leno
The problem with political jokes is they get elected. ~Henry Cate, VII
We hang the petty thieves and...
Forum: Jokes 06-10-2014, 07:50 AM
Replies: 0
Views: 78
Posted By curious74432
Dog funeral

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, 'Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be sayin’ a...
Forum: Recipe Swap 06-09-2014, 03:37 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 51
Posted By curious74432
Easy Lemon Bars

Easy Lemon Bars
Serves: 12
Prep time: 15 minutes
Cooking time: 30 minutes
Difficulty: Easy
Cost: $

Ingredients
16 tablespoons or 2 sticks of butter, softened
2 cups all-purpose flour
Forum: Jokes 06-05-2014, 04:45 AM
Replies: 0
Views: 71
Posted By curious74432
Good Advice

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.
Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John...
Forum: Jokes 05-30-2014, 02:35 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 76
Posted By curious74432
Just moved

Just Moved

I had just moved from an apartment to a house in the same small town. One day at the grocery store, I used the last of my personalized checks bearing my old address. The cashier examined...
Forum: Freebies 05-22-2014, 03:35 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 98
Posted By curious74432
Amazon Prime--some free HBO shows

Available starting today, Amazon Prime Instant Video users will have unlimited streaming access to select HBO programming. Shows will become available in waves (it's not clear how often), but titles...
Forum: Jokes 05-20-2014, 04:55 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 100
Posted By curious74432
Dental surgery

Smile of the day
I was in the bar last night, waiting for a Jack Daniels and water, when a butt-ugly, big old heifer came up behind me, and slapped me on the butt.

She said, "Hey sexy, how about...
Forum: Jokes 05-18-2014, 05:22 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 65
Posted By curious74432
Retirement--big eyes

How To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity in retirement:

1. At lunch time, sit In your parked car wearing sunglasses and point a Hair Dryer at passing cars...watch 'em Slow Down!
2. On all your...
Forum: Jokes 05-16-2014, 04:12 AM
Replies: 0
Views: 70
Posted By curious74432
Where are your glasses??

Where are your Glasses ??

Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me again, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time.

“Like sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a good thing?” I...
Forum: Recipe Swap 05-16-2014, 03:40 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 141
Posted By curious74432
Almond Joy Bundt Cake

Almond Joy Bundt Cake


1. 1 package classic white cake mix.
2. 1 package(3.4 oz) instant chocolate pudding.
3. 3 large eggs.
4. 1 cup water.
5. 1/3 cup veg oil.
6. 3/4 cup almonds. (cut or chopped...
Forum: Jokes 05-15-2014, 04:43 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 56
Posted By curious74432
Classmate

Classmate


HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS
YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T
LOOK THAT OLD. WELL . . . YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE.

MY NAME IS ALICE , AND I WAS SITTING IN
THE...
Forum: Jokes 05-12-2014, 05:22 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 56
Posted By curious74432
Blind cowboy

Blind Cowboy

An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake...

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to...
Forum: Jokes 05-09-2014, 11:32 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 70
Posted By curious74432
Dumb jokes

WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not...
Forum: Jokes 05-05-2014, 04:26 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 59
Posted By curious74432
Ski trip

John decided to go skiing with his buddy, Keith. So they loaded up John's minivan and headed north.

After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a...
Forum: Jokes 04-24-2014, 04:37 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 79
Posted By curious74432
On the bright side

Three friends had a good friend named Joe and he was, naturally, an eternal optimist. At every bad situation he would always say "It could have been worse." His friends hated that quality about him,...
Forum: Jokes 04-22-2014, 05:48 AM
Replies: 0
Views: 78
Posted By curious74432
Old goats

Groups of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used....
Forum: Jokes 04-11-2014, 03:40 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 94
Posted By curious74432
Jokes-big eyes

I dialed a number and got the following recording:


"I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the...
Forum: Jokes 04-10-2014, 10:18 AM
Replies: 0
Views: 64
Posted By curious74432
Harmful food

A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago.

“The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode...
Forum: Jokes 04-07-2014, 08:30 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 85
Posted By curious74432
3 guys in heaven

Three Guys in Heaven

Three guys died and when St. Peter met them at the pearly gates, he said, “I know that you guys are forgiven because you’re here. Before I let you into Heaven, I have to ask you...
Forum: Jokes 04-04-2014, 03:03 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 85
Posted By curious74432
Apple Strudel

An old man is lying on his deathbed with his children, grandchildren, and older great-grandchildren all around, teary-eyed at the approaching finale of a very long and productive life. The old man in...
Forum: Recipe Swap 04-02-2014, 05:32 AM
Replies: 0
Views: 182
Posted By curious74432
Firecracker Dip

Firecracker Dip

Ingredients

1 cup sour cream
1 8 oz. package cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup salsa
1 1/2 cups shredded Monterey Jack cheese or Taco Cheese, divided
1 medium tomato, chopped
Directions
Forum: Jokes 03-29-2014, 03:57 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 107
Posted By curious74432
Blonde rancher's wife

A blonde city girl named Amy marries a Colorado rancher.

One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy, "The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our...
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