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  #1  
Old 02-02-2013, 04:39 PM
curious74432 curious74432 is offline
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Default Life's Demerit System for Men

Life's
Demerit System
All men
(married or not) will attest to some real wisdom in this
email...

...In the
world of romance, one single rule applies:
MAKE
THE WOMAN HAPPY!


Do
something she likes, and you get points.
Do
something she dislikes, and points are subtracted.
You don't
get any points for doing something she expects.
Sorry,
that's the way the game is played.
Here is
a non-exhaustive guide to the point system:



SIMPLE
DUTIES
You
make the bed. (+1)
You make
the bed, but forget the decorative pillows. (-10)
You throw
the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-3)
You go out
to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)
But return
with Jack Daniels. (-5)


PROTECTIVE
DUTIES
You check
out a suspicious noise at night. (+1)
You check
out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing. (0)
You
check out a suspicious noise, and it is something. (+5)
You pummel
it with an iron rod. (+10)
It's her
favorite lamp. (-20)


SOCIAL
ENGAGEMENTS
You
stay by her side for the entire party. (+1)
You stay
by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old
school
friend. (-2)
Named
Tina (-10)
Tina is a
dancer. (-10)
Tina has
breast implants. (-40)


HER
BIRTHDAY
You take
her out to dinner. (+2)
You take
her out to dinner, and it's not a sports bar. (+3)
Okay, it's
a sports bar. (-2)
And
its all-you-can-eat night. (-3)
It's a
sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is
painted
the colors of your favorite team. (-10)


A
NIGHT OUT
You take
her to a movie. (+1)
You take
her to a movie she likes. (+5)
You take
her to a movie you hate. (+6)
You take
her to a movie you like. (-2)
It's
called 'Death Cop.' (-3)
You lied
and said it was a foreign film about orphans. (-15)


YOUR
PHYSIQUE
You
develop a noticeable potbelly. (-15)
You
develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it. (+10)

You
develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy

Hawaiian
shirts. (-30)
You say,
"It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-80)


THE BIG
QUESTION
She asks,
"Do I look fat?" (-5)
(Yes, you
lose points no matter what)
You
hesitate in responding. (-10)
You reply,
"Where?" (-35)
You give
any other response. (-20)


COMMUNICATION
When she
wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what

looks like
a concerned expression. (+2)
You
listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen
for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV. (+500)

She
realizes this is because you have fallen asleep. (-4000)



Send this
on to all of the gentlemen you know to refresh them on the

point
system.
(and to
the ladies you know with a good sense of humor!)
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  #2  
Old 02-02-2013, 05:06 PM
gayle's Avatar
gayle gayle is offline
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